“strive to be one standard deviation above the mean.”

Its true, there is a lot to give up while you are pregnant – certain foods, certain drinks. For some people, this is harder than others. For me, the food and drink is not the hard part. Its the sanity.

We can all agree that for most of us, that 1st trimester is hard. Even if you have it easy, which, this pregnancy and my last, I have, its just no cake walk. I was so tired and run down. Not to mention moody. I give my husband the patience’s award. Seriously. For me, dealing with the roller coaster that is all the emotional changes during that time is HORRIBLE! I didn’t have morning sickness, but I am almost tempted to say I would rather have physical problems than mood problems. I say almost tempted to say it – I am not sure if I could handle morning sickness. 

Loosing my mind and my body. These are the 2 things I struggle hardest with during pregnancy. I hate the fact that I am gaining weight I will have to loose. I love why I am gaining weight. And I don’t diet. But, I just hate that I am doing something that I will have to reverse later. It seems counter-productive. It isn’t. It just seems that way.

Generally, I am pretty even and steady. Not so with all the estrogen. One day, one top of the world. The next day, tired. They next day, who knows?

So, while there are parts I enjoy, loosing control of my emotions and watching the scale are not parts I enjoy. 

In the end, its all worth it. But, it doesn’t mean the journey isn’t hard or problematic.

Anna in general runs errands very well. Recently she discovered the special kid carts at the grocery. Yeah to the thoughtful person who came up with these. It makes it easier to entertain a one year old during grocery shopping.

last night, our 15 month old (omg, she is really that old) got hungry. growth spurt. she is 15 months old and already wearing 2T clothing. big baby girl felt the need to grow some more.

anyway, she woke up needing a bottle. there was a little light in her room from the street lights. but she curled up in my lap, with her sweet blonde curls brushing against my chin. i rocked her and gave her the bottle. the house was quiet except for the few creeks of the rocking chair. there was something sacred in that moment. i am not sure i can describe it, but, it was tender. i feel that same awe when i tip-toe into her room at night after she is asleep to make sure she is covered. her little peaceful, angel looking face asleep and breathing rhythmically catches me each time. maybe its the innocence. maybe its the dependence. i am not sure what it is, but bed time and rocking time is something sacred.

On Saturday morning, I woke up before my 1 year old and husband got up. My dog was still snoring. It was the beautiful hour of the day where the sun is creeping up over the trees. In an earlier life, I would have been near the end of a swim practice at that hour. I am older, and less in shape now, and 6 am is plenty early to get up, much less work out.

I put on my running skirt and a sweatshirt – it was a little chilly out (yeah!). I met my friend and we got our numbers and electronic tags. We saw the recruits in academy stretching, SWAT, and Red Dog. I was excited to run my very first road race for people who protect our neighborhoods each day. 

We started, and at the first mile marker, they called out times – and I looked at my friend and said, really 11 minute mile? I felt slower than that, but cool. Second mile, another 11 minute mile. Huh? Who knew you could run a decent mile time while pregnant. At about 2.5 miles, I wanted to be done. But I inherited this stubborn, competitive gene. I was so close. I didn’t want to run all that way to stop so close to the finish. So I kept going. 

I finished #37 out of 66 in my age group with a time of 33:49. Not bad for a pregnant lady!

You can do anything you put your mind to – even if you are carrying another human with you.

There are some differing opinions over how much working out a pregnant woman should do. You have to choose activities that account for your new center of gravity. You cannot overheat, or go anaerobic. You cannot work to the point of exhaustion. You should be able to carry on a conversation without loosing your breath.All this is great. Its hard to apply if you are use to working out by the motto “Go hard or go home”.

One argument, that when you exercise, you are re-directing blood from your uterus to your muscles. This COULD result in lower birth weights. This does not apply to me. I worked out, on average 2-3 times a week from 8 weeks pregnant to 34 weeks pregnant (after that I couldn’t lift my heavy body to get into the pool). I had my daughter at 38 1/2 weeks. She was 9 lbs 3 ounces. No low birth weight there.

Bottom line for me – when its all said and done – I will be trying to chase around a newborn and a 20 month old. I need to be in training for that alone!

Last night, I went for a run (finally got over the tiredness of the 1st trimester enough to pick up running again). I made a little over 1 1/2 miles before getting HOT. So, I stopped. I have a 5k tomorrow, so we will see how my body temp holds out.

I won’t bore you with details of development this time around. If you want to know whats happening at 12 weeks, you can check some of my previous posts.

We found out I was pregnant with #2 about mid-March. This will put about 20 months between Anna and #2. I was hoping for more like 30, but, you get what you get.

Things I have learned so far in this pregnancy. I was tired during my 1st trimester with Anna. I generally came home from work and took a small nap. Well, no such thing with a crawler wanting to explore her world. And in all honesty, I can go to bed early, when she does, and then I don’t miss time with her.

Second thing I have learned – 1st trimester was hard again. I was tired – again. Something I have learned about myself – I rarely stop and ask for help or for someone to take over so I can rest. This is bad. I end up annoyed that I didn’t get help, but really, whose fault is that? (my husband is probably nodding his head along with this one).

Third thing I have learned so far – life is never as you planned it. We know this, and yet, we still try to make plans. We understand it, and still try to map out our course. I am not saying we shouldn’t have direction. But, maybe saying “it wasn’t a planned pregnancy” really doesn’t mean much. Maybe this little one has a plan of its own about when to come into the world.

Finally – I need my husband like a my lungs need air. With hormones and lack of sleep, there are days I would wonder if this was true. But even on those days, I would begin to doubt my ability to do this, and he would be there loving me through. Having someone cheer you on as your body changes and your hormones go nuts is huge! 

Anna and I went for a run this morning followed by some time on the playground! She loved the swing and the fire truck!

Saturday we went to Birmingham to hang out with Doc and Mormor. The big news – Anna tried very hard to say Doc. She almost got it!

When Scott’s parents visited last week, we had another party for Anna. She wore a tank top that said “it’s my party” and a crown and tutu. Yeah not much beats that!